Worry and Fear Kept Me From Taking Action: What I Did to Move Forward

What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are. Tony Robbins

Steve and I recently celebrated our wedding anniversary at a beautiful resort in St Lucia. We had a gorgeous ocean view and the resort has it's own private beach for guests to enjoy. You can either spend your days lounging in various places around the resort, reading a book, getting your daily massage (included, believe it or not), or you can be active like most guests and participate in literally dozens of activities every day.

One of the activities available is to walk or run the Wellness Trail. It's a one-mile path around the resort, with various activities you can do along the way like pull-ups, balance beam, jumping through tires and walking the elevated rope bridge. It's a great way to start your day with a heart-pumping activity before enjoying a leisurely breakfast.

The first time we walked the trail and came upon the rope bridge, Steve walked up the ladder and crossed in no time. I walked up the ladder and all I could see were the big gaping holes on the sides, large enough to fit my entire leg through with one slip of the foot. Not to mention, the top ropes where you hold on were very far apart at the beginning and end; how could I even get started when I couldn't grasp both sides of the rope?

Nope! This one's not for me! I got down and declared “I'm a big chicken”, and walked away frustrated with myself that I let worry and fear make my decision for me. I was afraid of falling and worried about all the different scenarios of how it would play out should I slip and fall. I was even worried about being embarrassed, which is foolish since Steve was the only one there and after 33 years together, why in the world would I be embarrassed when I'm with him?

The next day we went sailing in a 24 ft sailboat in very choppy water. I've never sailed before so I relied on our guides to keep us upright and safe (they did good on the safe part, but we were sideways several times during the trip). Talk about a thrill ride! I was certainly in a lot more danger sailing in choppy waters than I would have been walking across that rope bridge. But for some reason I felt excited rather than worried or fearful – even though I was taking a lot of water in the face and hanging on for dear life!

On day three, we walked the trail again. This time I didn't say anything, just walked up the ladder and went for it. I didn't stop to look at it and wonder how I was going to accomplish this feat, I just paused for a second on the platform, grabbed the rope and started putting one foot in front of the other. I took Steve's advice on how to position my feet and it was a piece of cake! Before I knew it I was across feeling victorious! Maybe braving the choppy waters the day before gave me more courage; plus I didn't want to go home regretting the fact that I didn't walk the rope.

Worry and fear is no longer keeping me from taking action

For some of you, this would not be a big deal and many probably wonder why in the world I would be fearful about walking across this short rope bridge. But I also know there are many of you like me, who find certain activities like this worrisome. It's a lot easier to just back away and let others have all the fun. But I'm tired of being that person and wanted to do what the fun kids do!

What I realized is that when you let determination take over for worry and fear, you can accomplish amazing things in your life. And looking back, I realized this wasn't the first time I'd done this. There have been several times throughout my life that instead of wallowing in worry or fearing what might happen, I simply paused for a moment, made a decision and immediately took action. In those moments, I realized I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for.

Here are a few examples of how worry and fear might have held me back - but didn't:

• Have you ever been afraid to do something, but once you did it you wanted to do it again? That's how roller coaster rides are for me. The first time I faced riding a roller coaster was when I was about 13 years old. Peer pressure wasn't something I handled well, so I felt like I really didn't have much of a choice. Looking back it was a good thing – I needed that push to get me out of my comfort zone.
  
  I always remember that terrifying few moments as we slowly rode up that first steep incline. I knew what was coming and it was scary – waiting to get over the hill and then soaring downwards toward the ground, while your stomach does flip-flops. Once we were done my adrenalin had done its job and I was so excited I wanted to get back in line and do it again!
  
  
• Last April, the coach I was working with encouraged me to try yoga. I'd never been interested in yoga before; figured you have to be flexible to do that and I'm certainly not flexible enough for yoga! I resisted, but a few weeks later decided to see if there was a yoga studio in my area. There was, wouldn't you know it. This was a Sunday morning and they happened to be offering a Beginners Yoga Series starting that very afternoon! Hmm, should I do it? Naa… it's not for me. But 10 minutes later I thought about it again and decided to give it a try. After all, it seemed to be a sign from above that they happened to be offering a beginner's series on the day I went looking, right?
  
  A few hours later I took my first class and I've been hooked ever since! And the best part is that after every single class, my body feels totally relaxed and my mind is calm and worry-free. Yoga took me out of my comfort zone, but I've met new people, learned how to let go of the stress of the day, and I look forward to class every week. And if you're worried that you're not flexible enough or thin enough to do yoga – forgettaboutit! We have women of all sizes in my class and a couple men too, and we all do what works for our own body, making adjustments to the poses as needed – no judgement.
  
  
• When it comes to business, I learned to let go of worry and fear from Steve. I'll never forget when we were struggling to get our business off the ground, he would go to the janitorial supply store and spend hours learning about all the different kinds of carpet and hard floor machines. He wanted to buy his first floor machine that cost about $2500. My first thought went to – we can't afford that! I was worried about how we would pay for it.
  
  Steve had a totally different mind set about it. He was planning his first floor job and knew that just 2 or 3 small jobs would pay for the machine. Plus he arranged to pay for the machine in 3 payments over 90 days, which made me feel better. That meant that all he had to do was get 3 floor jobs over that 3 months to make the payments – and he did! He proved this to me time and time again with each piece of equipment he bought and finally made me a believer. 

So how do you push past your fears and stop worrying about every little thing so you can participate in life and achieve your personal and business goals?

Of course for some people, worry and fear goes very deep so a simple article on the topic will not free them from worry and fear. My mother dealt with clinical depression most of her adult life and I felt her worry and fear every day of my life growing up. This made it challenging for me because I didn't have the upbeat, “fun” mom some of my friends had to be a role model. Since I grew up with this in my life, I ended up dealing with my own worries and fears over the years. But here are some tips that have helped me.

A question I've started asking myself is, “What's the worst thing that could happen?” I fall over trying to do a yoga pose and look like an idiot? Guess what? It happened! And we all got a good laugh! I learned that laughing at myself for being silly is not embarrassing, it's fun!

What about when it comes to business? What's the worst thing that could happen if you spent say, $500 on a business education program that you feel you simply can't afford? Probably the worst thing that could happen is that you don't use the program and you waste the $500. But what if you DID work the program? What did you learn that you can implement in your business and turn into a Return on Investment? Sometimes it takes just one nugget of information that turns into an idea for your business to turn things around. When you implement the idea and it works, it was money well-spent.

It's all a matter of perspective. If you believe that you can't afford to invest in your business, then you'll keep yourself from growing. I see it happen every day when cleaning business owners call or email to ask if they can get a discount on a one-year, $147 Pro Membership to The Janitorial Store. Really? You can't afford to invest $147 in your business education?

And now some are asking why we charge so much for Premium Membership and Clean Smart University. I don't consider $647 for a year's worth of in-depth, professional training for you and your employees a very large investment. In a time when employee engagement is critical to employee retention, this is a small price to pay for literally thousands of professional training videos that you can use to train and interact with your employees. I'll say it again. It's all a matter of perspective, because I'll guarantee that the high employee turnover you're experiencing is costing you thousands of dollars.

If you're one of those people that are afraid to take calculated risks, worry about every little thing and have a hard time making decisions in your life and business, it's time to take a break and do a little work on yourself.  Believe me, I've been there. I'm still working on some of my fears in my personal life, but when it comes to business I learned a long time ago that being timid and conservative will get you nowhere. I failed at my first attempt at starting a business because of it. Never again. Every business we've started since then has been successful and has given me a confidence I never knew I had. It can be the same for you.

Tips for helping you cope with fear and worry:

• Daily journaling. Write down your fears and worries to release them from your consciousness. Doing this before bed can help get it out of your mind and onto paper.
• Start a gratitude journal (see book below to get you started). When you realize how much you have to be grateful for, many of your worries seem unimportant. As Dale Carnegie said, “Count your blessings – not your troubles.”
• Meditation and mindfulness. This is a hard one for many people to grasp because the thought of just sitting there trying to keep your mind free of thought and be in the present moment seems like a waste of time. I know I certainly felt that way when I started meditating. But spending just 10 minutes a day focusing completely on breathing helps with focus. In fact as I worked on this article I would meditate before writing to help my mind focus on the topic and it really helped. If you have a scattered mind like many of us business owners, focus is important for productivity.
• Prayer. I'm a very private person when it comes to my spiritual beliefs, but what I've learned since starting my intentional spiritual journey in the past 2 years, is that you don't have to be religious to pray.  Ask God or your higher power for help with a situation (and I'm not talking about asking for help to win the lottery). If you need “people” help, describe the type of people you need to come into your life. If you can't make a decision or need an help solving a problem, ask for an inspired idea or some sort of sign that would indicate in which direction you should go.

Here are some resources for getting over your worry and fears:

• http://stressfree.org/
• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (Dale Carnegie)
• The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level
• The Gratitude Jar (book on how to practice gratitude every day)
• The Miracle Morning
• The Tapping Solution (book on EFT Tapping)
• Calm Meditation (also available in iTunes and Google Play)
• Gaia Yoga Videos

And now… I'm off to yoga!

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